Squaddie gnome sightings

"Reg" is a full-sized garden gnome of dastardly appearance with a smile and lips you will never forget. He has received publicity recently in the Classified Advertisement pages of "Soldier" magazine. Despite emerging from a highly trained background "Reg" can not move fast. He aims to evade detection by remaining absolutely still, placing his weight of 12 kg of concrete squarely on the ground. His dpm jacket is surmounted by lurid facial features which some say are classic Cockney, others report Geordie.

• Gnome Guard Shock Army Chiefs
• Reg was spotted outside Hightown barraks Wrexham in a conker tree. He was armed with a minature SA80, and should not be aproached. He was reported to be observing the RSM as he went too and from the Mess
  
• Lympstone, Dorest. Two "Reg" sighted in bushes adjacent to Main Gate. Royal Marines have investigated
• Aldershot. Platoon of fifteen gnomes has recently taken up Guard Post Duties in the residential area on Camp. All these gnomes are reported jump-qualified
• Hereford. One "Reg" sighted in garden
• Kineton. One "Reg" reported kidnapped, Bomb Disposal personnel investigate; further information received that this "Reg" has been sighted at 112, Whitehall, London
• Brighton. One "Reg" spotted in a suburban front garden
• Aldermaston. One "Reg" reported in vicinity
• Germany. One "Reg" reported with Tank Regiment
• Bosnia. One reported hitching an illegal ride in the cockpit of a C-130 supply Transport. Mission unknown. Photographic evidence to follow
• Alençon, France. Le "front de libération des nains de jardin" expresses concern at the militarisation of the "Gnome World" which has previously been more concerned with fishing rods and the latest design of droopy hat

If you have seen "Reg" it is important that you please report your sighting as accurately as possible. It is imperative that photographs of "Reg" are made available as soon as possible. Click here for "Reg" Report Form.