Squaddie gnome sightings
"Reg" is a full-sized garden gnome of dastardly appearance with a smile and
lips you will never forget. He has received publicity recently in the Classified
Advertisement pages of "Soldier" magazine. Despite emerging from a highly trained
background "Reg" can not move fast. He aims to evade detection by remaining absolutely
still, placing his weight of 12 kg of concrete squarely on the ground. His dpm
jacket is surmounted by lurid facial features which some say are classic Cockney,
others report Geordie.
- Gnome Guard Shock Army Chiefs
- Reg was spotted outside Hightown barraks Wrexham in a conker tree. He was
armed with a minature SA80, and should not be aproached. He was reported to be
observing the RSM as he went too and from the Mess
- Lympstone, Dorest. Two "Reg" sighted in bushes adjacent to Main Gate. Royal
Marines have investigated
- Aldershot. Platoon of fifteen gnomes has recently taken up Guard Post Duties
in the residential area on Camp. All these gnomes are reported jump-qualified
- Hereford. One "Reg" sighted in garden
- Kineton. One "Reg" reported kidnapped, Bomb Disposal personnel investigate;
further information received that this "Reg" has been sighted at 112, Whitehall,
- Brighton. One "Reg" spotted in a suburban front garden
- Aldermaston. One "Reg" reported in vicinity
- Germany. One "Reg" reported with Tank Regiment
- Bosnia. One reported hitching an illegal ride in the cockpit of a C-130 supply
Transport. Mission unknown. Photographic evidence to follow
- Alençon, France. Le "front de libération des nains de jardin"
expresses concern at the militarisation of the "Gnome World" which has previously
been more concerned with fishing rods and the latest design of droopy hat
If you have seen
"Reg" it is important that you please report your sighting as accurately as possible.
It is imperative that photographs of "Reg" are made available as soon as possible.
Click here for "Reg" Report Form.